- 40 minutes of my lyfe-

i wander around the room, 11:10pm. god. i hate it when this happens when i'm stoned. i put on my lavender thermal, the one with the soft japanese flowers along the left side of the torso. david holmes' bow down to the exit sign feels my ears for the first time. i like it. this song is his take on tom cat by muddy waters. god i love good music. music that you just stop for a moment and absolutely nothing else is in your head except how fucking good the music is. i put my t shirt with the rough stenciled dirty gold gas masks over my thermal. it's a shame this soft shade of black goes so well with this lavender, the flowers are so pretty and the v neck looks kick ass on me. it's a shame i have such small boobs.

i pull my make-up bag out of my purse. mama soul by harold alexander. i put the make up on and wonder if andrew would be down to head out to long beach for david's birthday on sunday. it'll be about 9;30 when we'd leave but that's still pretty early for a night that involves being able to sleep in the next day. andrew'll probably hate the idea of driving outside of pasadena, even if i offer. i need to get a new shift key. no, i need a new keypad. shit son, i just need a new fucking laptop. i was starting to get bored. sweet songs by jujus. every band member was introduced by instrument, name and astrological sign. i wish silvia was here, she would love this music.

a daddy long leg finds his way down and up my leg. i somehow lose him as i'm ducking around my leg to check him out. at this point i'm starting to crave a drink. if i had someone to go with me to the buck i'd totally love to walk there. i have no cash, though. i need to start keeping money in my wallet, at least a 20. i always think this to myself but still never manage to do it. i go to the restroom and put my hair into 2 short and messy braids. the clothy little girly hair bands remind me of a few years ago when i wasn't that much younger than i am now but still significantly young enough for there to be a major difference in who i am now. i remember lisa's house, hookah with silvia, sculpture and nick. seth told me at the last house show i went to in palmdale that he liked andrew and he thought he was a better guy for me to be with than nick. i had met seth only once back then at a party that chip invited me to. i remember seth gave me a hug when i introduced myself as nick's girlfriend. i hadn't run into him again until nearly 2 years later. he was so drunk that first time i never thought he'd remember who i was and i was slightly confused as to why he brought it up. seth's a good guy, though, i'm glad he's willing to leave scv.

herbstplatte '69 by valentin mehler. i would love to go down to the metro station, get completely monkied and ride the metro into hollywood right about now. too bad it's too late, the goldline stops running at midnight. 11:50 pm. ode a l'affaire by andrew perry. danielle, it's ok to stay in on a friday night. trust me, you need this time for yourself. fuck withdrawls. why the hell can't i be addicted to something physical instead of mental? i snap another bowl.